In our introductory article we listed a number of “wrong” reasons to got to college. These included convincing arguments by parents, just having the funding in the bank or obtaining loan funding, wanting to party, finding a spouse and “all my friends are going.” Here we will add a few more, but also provide a number of the “right” reasons for going to college. Finally, we will explore the answer to “Is college right for me?”
Analysis of the Wrong Reasons
Quite naturally, parents want the best for their children. However, for some parents factors adverse to the best interest of the child may be present. One of these is pride. One or both parents, or other relatives, may have gone to college and secured an excellent career as a consummate professional. However, securing one of the many scholarships for high school seniors and convincing or even forcing a child to attend college, just because a relative wants be able to say, “Johnny went to …” or “Mary is attending …” could be one the greatest disservices a parent could provide for their child. Addressing parents for a minute, “Does your child want to learn? Does he or she hate school? Is there a long-standing predisposition against education? Does your child have a learning disability? (Actually, this is rare.) Does your child have a passion for something, anything?” Parents must capitalize on the answers to these questions and not depend on convincing the child, or debating the pros and cons of pursuing higher education.
“All my bothers and sisters (or my bother or sister) went to college, so I must go also.” This is another wrong reason. Other than identical twins, everyone is unique. A brother or sister may not even have similar interests, talents or natural abilities. Parents should encourage children to explore the possibility of pursuing further education beyond high school, but not demand it.
Materialism, or seeking the highest paying job, is often a motivation to attend college. And it is true that college graduates average a much higher income than those with only a high school diploma. It is also true that a bachelor’s or master’s degree today is often a minimum requirement for many employers; whereas a high school diploma was often the minimum requirement forty or fifty years ago. However, money alone is a poor reason for attending a college or university. And students with that sole motivation, along with students whose parents pay all college expenses, seldom excel or find the “job of their dreams” – because there actually is no dream and often no passion to achieve. The disappointments and frustration of becoming a “college dropout” can be temporarily devastating for both the student and the parents.
The Right Reasons
One key here is “passion.” Others are natural talents, keen and ever present interests, something I always wanted to try, wonderment about “what would it be like to…,” the sincere comment “Dad (or Mon), I want to be just like you!”, lifelong hobbies, aspirations to be a … or something Johnny or Mary spends an inordinate amount of time doing or pursuing.
Parents, watch your child carefully and note their fears and their joys. Do they love to be around people, or do they prefer to be by themselves? (Either could also be a key; and neither is necessarily bad.) Do they excel in school at any of the basics – reading, writing or arithmetic? Query your child’s teachers about this and anything else they may notice about your child’s intense interests, not matter how bizarre or unconventional they may be.
Finally, sit down and talk with one of the high school guidance counselors. Do this with the child present and without the child. If the guidance counselor does not know the child, or is having problems communicating with him or her, have the counselor visit your child’s individual teachers. Guidance counselors are often very insightful and intuitively may come up with some excellent suggestions; for that is their field of expertise!
Is College Right For Me?
For both parents and the student, the above considerations will often provide the answer. However, if this question still lingers, consider the following. Ask, “Someday, do I want to marry and have children? Do I want to be doing manual labor all my life? Do I have a passion, or even intensely enjoy, simply driving a car or a truck? (There are professional drivers of both, who are true professionals and are paid very well!) What do I enjoy doing more than anything else in life?”
If none of the above inspires any motivation to attend college, then I hope you (or as a parent your child), pursues a God-given talent, even if there is no passion or interest. Otherwise, a wide variety of miscellaneous manual jobs, and none for more than six months to two years, are very likely to be an accurate description of their future. And any hopes of successfully entering into marriage and raising a family may never be realized.
A college education is an insurance policy for the future! By whatever means, and college is probably and usually the best, learn and never stop learning. Life is too short to do anything less!
Thank you for reading!